And then, suddenly it's spring. You've been hoping for it, you've been expecting it and still...every year it jumps out at you. Bam! A cherry tree explodes in a cloud of little white flowers.
With grumbling stomachs the lézards come crawling from under their rocks: 'Are there any of those juicy flies around yet?
In our spring-fuelled frenzy we even thought, just for a brief moment, that the grapes were ripe already.
But when the sun kisses the earth awake, it's time to get to work.
And not in the least place on the texts for the Slurp.
All this unexpected growing and blossoming going on around us, leads to some confusion among the La Tulipe Egg-Brigade. But on the other hand it was a perfect opportunity to express that long felt sisterly love.
Castle hen Vulva-Secretia didn't hesitate even a moment. She discretely retreated and ejected a spontaneous extra egg.
It goes without saying that both castle birds received a splash of scrumptious CHATEAU la Tulipe 2015 in their drinks bowl after that.
The winegrower's lover wasted no time in turning the freshly laid eggs into some delectable 'Oeuf vigneron au fromage' and La Vie was Belle.
But then fate chose this exact vulnerable moment to throw a blunt spanner in the works.
Television headquarters was on the phone. Can the winegrower please make his way to Holland immediately to record a trailer for his new TV show.
He who flies, shall plant trees. And therefore père et fils dug a hole and planted a thousand year oak, right in front of Château la Tulipe.
Our vineyard with the oldest vines, the 'Vieille Vignes' had got a little bit too 'Veille', after a hundred years.
Last year we relieved her of her old grapevines and now she is allowed to snooze and build up strength for the next four years. Not great for us, because a dormant vineyard like that doesn't bring in anything, but on the other hand it's beautiful. Not in the least place for the castle bees who buzz back and forth contentedly.
Because this vineyard is temporarily retired anyway we decided to plant some trees here, just in case of any future air travel.
Encouraged by the success of the thousand year oak, we let loose. We planted not 18, not 25, but 58 new trees!
And when, after a day of planting trees, the winegrower mobile refuses to take on the trip to the stables, oh well, with a few loving words (and a mild threat of a British G15), her engine starts purring again.
Great, because spring has exploded all over the vineyard and poured out her entire bag of tricks.
Frail, smooth and beguiling as a young maiden she smiles down on us, but also demand all our attention.
Cliquez ici to learn how to revive a stubborn Citroën Méhari (Cliquez on the image below)
When the clock strikes twelve 62.814.233 French people drop everything all at once and tie their napkins around their necks. And so do we. Today we fired up the engine of the winegrower-mobile and set off down the hill to our neighbouring village.
A sleepy village square. Old houses are dreaming in the afternoon sunshine, sparrows are a-tweeting.
If you look closely you can still read that one 'A. Jalineau Courtier en Vins' used to run his business here once.
A beautifully dilapidated 'Gentilhommiere' with two coach houses has been for sale for years. Nobody has the courage to take on this project.
On the other side of the square is the 'Boucherie', taking its break for the afternoon, as is the 'Tabac- Halle de la Presse'. But Café Resto 'La Table Gourmande', is open.
You can eat outside...
As well as inside, next to the waiting parasol. With the TV blaring, a pichet rouge and a bottle of tap water.
As the owner is a devotee of Lemmy, from Motörhead, the clothes of the manager and manageress are an earnest black, here and there enlivened with a skull or two.
But outside, under the parasol, La Vie an Rose reigns supreme.
'Menu Unique'. The winegrower's eyebrows knit together in a concerned frown.
'That means,' explains owner Jean-Claude when pressed, 'That you have no choice. It's unique you see?'
With an elegant gesture, he presents the starter moments later. 'Voilà, le charcuterie!'
'But... But I'm a vegetarian!' squeals the winegrower nervously.
'Pas de problème,' Jean-Claude laughs. 'Close your eyes. J'ai une surprise pour vous!'
'You can open your eyes...' In line with the national colour of his guest's mother country, Jean Claude has prepared a special dish. 'Voilà! Carottes rappées!'
'Errm...' Reluctantly the winegrower pokes around in the well-intentioned rabbit food. But then his eyes open wide in astonishment. The grated carrots are doused with a dressing of white wine, finely chopped spring onions and fresh garlic! Delicious!
'Et voici!' With an artistic flourish Jean-Cleude serves four steaming plates of 'Lapin à la Moutarde à l'ancienne', Rabbit in mustard sauce.
'But...' the winegrower starts to protest.
'Ah come on now,' says Jean-Claude. 'Rabbit is a vegetarian dish. They only ever eat lettuce don't they?'
The rabbit turns out to be tender, juicy and entirely scrumptious, and fortunately the accompanying 'Chou blanc au vin blanc', white cabbage in white wine, is so tasty that the winegrower clears all the plates of cabbage without a dent in his conscience.
The grape lord, always up for a bit of banter, terrorizes his mistress for a moment with the innards of the lapin. Because of course, filleting is for wimps.
To almost finish: the 'Plateau de Fromages'. Which could possibly have been a little more extensive, but on the other hand you can have too much of a good thing, and it's the taste that counts. And that was très bon.
Busty, the wife of the boss, serves the desserts: 'Tarte aux Pommes' and...
'Ha!' the winegrower cries out in glee. 'Tarte aux Kiwi's! My favourite!' Greedily he grabs his dessert spoon, ready to attack.
But just at that moment winemanager Bence asks the winegrower if he can just summarize the latest in string theory one last time.
'Well,' begins the latter, as he adjusts his chair, 'Seeing as the universe is infinite...'
The winegrower's mistress spots a chance and quickly nabs a significant piece of kiwi pie.
'I am of the opinion that relativity theory is incomplete,' blabbers the winegrower on.
'I foresee a chance within the realm of experimental verification to...'
'Personally I prefer a quantum mechanical description of gravity...'
And so the noon hour passes. The sun carries on shining, the sparrows carry on tweeting and a slight breeze blows the parasol askew. Until, at the strike of two, the postal lady arrives and rattles open the iron shutter of the 'Tabac - Halle de la Presse'. Time to go.
'L'addition, s'il vous plaît?'
Not too bad: € 59 for four unique menus including water and wine.
Visit Château la Tulipe
Great ideas sometimes come about in a couple of seconds. Just like that, while you're having a shower or staring out the window. A visit to Chateau la Tulipe is one of those great ideas. And it's perfectly possible. Cliquez ici for the options or go towww.tulipe.co.uk/contact
You can find Château la Tulipe de la Garde Bordeaux Superieur at Sainsbury's supermarkets. Cliquez ici for more information.
